David Euresti

21W.731

Prof. Flores's Terror

My mind often wanders off in the middle of class and I miss what the teacher says. For this reason, I have missed many assignments. One time I wandered through a whole dictation of a book report. It was silly; our teacher wanted us to write down everything she said, word for word, and hand it in as a book report. This was in third grade when nobody could think on their own. Apparently I could, because the next thing I remember was the teacher saying, "hand in your papers," so I handed in a plain sheet of paper. I ended up with a zero in that assignment. My mother wasn't too pleased.

Unfortunately, I can't remember much of my childhood. Everything before the eighth grade is a big blur in my mind. For example, I don't remember when, but one time I got suspended. You could ask my family and they'll tell you I was in fourth grade, but I don't know. This kid was calling me a girl. He continued for about three days. The third day I got very mad so I threw him down on the floor, so he started hitting me. I had one line of defense: my history textbook. I held it from the bottom and proceeded to smash it over his head. I guess it hurt him, since he stopped hitting me. Unfortunately we picked the wrong time to fight, namely History class, and the teacher sent us to the principal: The dreaded Prof. Flores. Prof. Flores suspended us. I honestly think that getting beaten up is punishment enough. Needless to say my mother wasn't too pleased.

I was a troublemaker when I was younger - actually more like a prankster. One day while I was in the bathroom, with my friend Cesar, I saw a water bucket on the floor and I thought, "let's put the water bucket over the door." So we did but added only a few centimeters of water. The poor victim hardly got wet but we laughed anyway. We then proceeded to do the same thing during lunch, however, we filled the bucket all the way to the top. It took us some effort to put the bucket over the door but we managed. Our victim this time was none other than Eduardo. Eduardo was a worse troublemaker than I. He was expelled in fourth grade and came back in sixth. Fortunately physics proved to be in our favor and the bucket turned over when he pushed open the door. It would have been sad if the bucket had fallen straight onto his head. It would have broken his neck and then I would have really been in trouble. Instead he got drenched. It was hilarious. I decided to apologize to the first victim because I hadn't meant to sully him. So I told him I was sorry and he said he had no hard feelings. Nevertheless, the idiot decided to turn me in. "He ruined my jacket," was his explanation. I was really mad at the kid because he was a really stupid wimpy fat juvenile. He deserved to get doused with the water. So the issue in Prof. Flores office was our punishment. He decided to postpone his decision for the weekend because it was late and he wanted to go home. So we had the weekend to think about it. On the way to my mom's car I saw my mom talking to a teacher and Cesar who was going to sleep over at my house. Here is what Cesar told me happened next:

- Your mom was walking up to the car when suddenly your English teacher showed up. She instantly proceeded to say, "Oh did you hear what your son did?" I tried to stop her but she wouldn't shut up. Sorry man.

Suffice to say, my mother was not pleased.

On the way home she screamed at me every chance she had; she couldn't believe that I had done such a thing. We got home and she made me tell my father the whole story. My dad laughed and said, "Good, don't do it again." My mother was definitely not pleased.

My punishment ended up being to wash the school bathroom's floor for a week. I was lucky that I didn't get suspended because this was the same principal that suspended me in fourth grade.

That wasn't the last time my record got tainted by Prof. Flores. A little after this incident I was walking around with a broken tennis racquet. The racquet broke that same day so I was just carrying it around. A kid asked to see my racquet. I gave it to him and the next thing I knew he was smashing it on the floor. I decided to get the racquet away from him by pushing him onto the floor. Another kid wanting to be the "Good Samaritan," came to his defense and started pushing me. I pushed him back when suddenly I saw the principal walking my way. Apparently pushing constitutes a branch of fighting and fighting is reason enough for suspension; In short, I got suspended...Again. Obviously my mother was not pleased.

One never really learns from lessons like these. The next year I decided that it would be funny for April Fool's Day to disassemble some desks. I took my trusty screwdriver and went ahead and removed the screws from the desks. My victim then wanted to move the desk to another side of the classroom. He grabbed it and pulled it up. Thinking there would be more weight he pulled with a lot of force. He ended up on the floor and then said: "I didn't do it, Miss. I swear it wasn't me." The teacher left and got Prof. Flores. He assumed it was me and punished me. My mother was certainly not pleased.

This next episode was not done on purpose. We didn't know the power of fire. Some friends and I were sitting in front of the gas heater eating potato chips. Someone mentioned how the chips were really greasy. We thought it would be a good idea to test how greasy they were. The easiest test: tossing one in the fire. Let's just say the chip took well to the fire. The flame was nearly a foot above the furnace. We ran out of the classroom as fast as we could. The teacher saw the fire, screamed and left the room to call for help. The janitor walked in and simply turned off the gas. I should have gotten into big trouble but fortunately Prof. Flores had been fired and the new principal let everything slide. We got off with just a week of detention. My mother never found out.